Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
DIARY OF THE DEAD (0.5 STARS)
George A."Zombie legend"Romero's Diary of the dead is the worst movie i've ever seen. It's terrible. Every moment of it is terrible.
I don't feel like going into everything, but i'd say the medium in which this is "filmed" is my least favorite problem with this movie... it goes with the Blair witch project idea of the victims filming. There's 2 cameras and a cell phone..oh, and surveillance camera footage they somehow got really easily. Everything cheesy around the camera stuff, whether it's the cheesy cuts of different cameras or it's the stupid mellow-drama they scripted to explain why they're filming everything.
The second least favorite problem with this film is the characters. The obvious cookie cutter characters. Each are given the most excruciatingly obvious dialogue, which makes me hate this movie with every word said.
Now, with my new full-time job, on top of my old part-time job, i can't be watching these kinds of movies. It seems like the last 4 movies i've seen have been really bad.
I am mad at myself for watching this.
I don't feel like going into everything, but i'd say the medium in which this is "filmed" is my least favorite problem with this movie... it goes with the Blair witch project idea of the victims filming. There's 2 cameras and a cell phone..oh, and surveillance camera footage they somehow got really easily. Everything cheesy around the camera stuff, whether it's the cheesy cuts of different cameras or it's the stupid mellow-drama they scripted to explain why they're filming everything.
The second least favorite problem with this film is the characters. The obvious cookie cutter characters. Each are given the most excruciatingly obvious dialogue, which makes me hate this movie with every word said.
Now, with my new full-time job, on top of my old part-time job, i can't be watching these kinds of movies. It seems like the last 4 movies i've seen have been really bad.
I am mad at myself for watching this.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN (3 STARS)
Of coarse this film has bad B-film cult credibility. I'll give it credit for the amazingly campy special affects. The giant hands that keep popping up. And the giants are always somewhat transparent. It think that might be a radiation thing... it wasn't quite explained. The acting in it is very entertaining. The police were different. Their dialogue was about strange things and very camp. The woman scream so obnoxiously...it's great!
I especially like the story. It's not at all what i expected. It could be called "THE ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN WHO KNOWS HER MAN'S BE RUNNIN' AROUND WITH THAT DIRTY WHORE NAMED HONEY!!!" because she's just a pissed off woman who got real big and is real steamed at her husband for bein' a no-good, two-timin', S.O.B.!!!
Also, why do giant people always move so slow?
I especially like the story. It's not at all what i expected. It could be called "THE ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN WHO KNOWS HER MAN'S BE RUNNIN' AROUND WITH THAT DIRTY WHORE NAMED HONEY!!!" because she's just a pissed off woman who got real big and is real steamed at her husband for bein' a no-good, two-timin', S.O.B.!!!
Also, why do giant people always move so slow?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
WAR DANCE (4 STARS)
Wow, what a heart wrenching documentary. It's about northern Ugandan kids who are in the dance/music/choir. They're practicing for the Ugandan choral competition.
These kids have had it as rough as you can possibly imagine. Some have seen their parents killed before their eyes. Some have been made to do the killing. Northern Uganda is a war zone, constantly in thread of rebel solders invading. They live in a refugee camp of 60,000. It's a city of huts. They live very poor, relying solely on the U.N. to supply them with food once a month.
It's SO SAD to hear the stuff they've gone threw and to see the state they are living in. All they have is this competition. It brakes your heart, over and over and over. You cry when they're sad, and you cry even more then they're happy.
I guess, go ahead and watch it.... just let the tears flow and flow and flow.
If you don't cry when watching this, i need to speak to your mother.
These kids have had it as rough as you can possibly imagine. Some have seen their parents killed before their eyes. Some have been made to do the killing. Northern Uganda is a war zone, constantly in thread of rebel solders invading. They live in a refugee camp of 60,000. It's a city of huts. They live very poor, relying solely on the U.N. to supply them with food once a month.
It's SO SAD to hear the stuff they've gone threw and to see the state they are living in. All they have is this competition. It brakes your heart, over and over and over. You cry when they're sad, and you cry even more then they're happy.
I guess, go ahead and watch it.... just let the tears flow and flow and flow.
If you don't cry when watching this, i need to speak to your mother.
24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE (4.5 STARS)
24 Hour Party People takes place from 1976 to 1986 in Manchester, England. It's the beginning of PUNK to the end of ACID. It features bands like Joy Division, The Mondays, The Jam, The sex pistols, New Order. It follows Tony Wilson as the narrator and central character who seems to be involved in every aspect of this changing culture. Steve Coogan who plays Wilson is absolutely amazing. He's hilarious and has a way about his dialogue that seems to all be made up on the spot but is so smart and witty, it'd be impossible.
A friend of mine about 8 years ago said that SLC PUNKS is a movie you can live your life to. I always thought that was a really stupid thing to say. Especially because i've always seen that movie as a huge corporate sell out of a movie. But this film....24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE...is a film you can live by. Tony Wilson's philosophy is to never sell out. He says on his epitaph it'll read "I Tony Wilson have never in any physical or metaphysical capacity, soled out." Paraphrased. This film does not sell out.
I will watch this movie until i'm blue in the face.
This is a TUBE of Steve Coogan's funny bits.
A friend of mine about 8 years ago said that SLC PUNKS is a movie you can live your life to. I always thought that was a really stupid thing to say. Especially because i've always seen that movie as a huge corporate sell out of a movie. But this film....24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE...is a film you can live by. Tony Wilson's philosophy is to never sell out. He says on his epitaph it'll read "I Tony Wilson have never in any physical or metaphysical capacity, soled out." Paraphrased. This film does not sell out.
I will watch this movie until i'm blue in the face.
This is a TUBE of Steve Coogan's funny bits.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
27 DRESSES (3.5 STARS)
Katherine Heigl is great in this ultimate chick flick. It's got weddings. It's got sisters. It's got guys we all have crushes on. It's got that one scene were everyone in the room sings a song that everyone loves just before the 3rd act.
Father Of The Bride meets My Best Friends Wedding meets The Wedding Singer.
I really do think it's pretty good.
Remember that one scene with Tom Cruise in Cocktail when they all sing "You're addicted to love"?
SPOILER: They do it after that.
Father Of The Bride meets My Best Friends Wedding meets The Wedding Singer.
I really do think it's pretty good.
Remember that one scene with Tom Cruise in Cocktail when they all sing "You're addicted to love"?
SPOILER: They do it after that.
THE SAVAGES (3.5 STARS)
This film is about Jon and Wendy Savage trying to deal with their father who is suffering from dementia. They are also trying to deal with the millions of other problems they've seemingly self imposed.
I like this kind of movie. Sort of New York intellectuals who are on hundreds of different medication to deal with a neglectful childhood. It's got a neat little sense of humor to it. Both Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney are really great. Nothing really happens, so don't expect it too. It's just a character study. And quite entertaining.
I'm sure you've seen this trailer a million times, as have i.
I like this kind of movie. Sort of New York intellectuals who are on hundreds of different medication to deal with a neglectful childhood. It's got a neat little sense of humor to it. Both Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney are really great. Nothing really happens, so don't expect it too. It's just a character study. And quite entertaining.
I'm sure you've seen this trailer a million times, as have i.
Monday, May 5, 2008
I'M NOT THERE (PART 2) (4.5 STARS)
*READ EARLY I'M NOT THERE REVIEW FOR REFERENCE*
I feel really awful that i said such hurtful things about Todd Haynes' Bob Dylan movie. It really is a masterpiece. He has done more research than i've ever heard of. He took on this film as a massive challenge. This film is 2 hours worth of Dylan references. It's caked in them. Every section of the movie is needed. Only i don't agree with some in thinking the acting of a few are not so good. However, the Ledger/Gainsbourg part... i don't know if i've ever seen something so amazing. And to a Bob Dylan soundtrack.
I lOVE the Richard Gere part. Every person in the town means something. A lot of them are from earlier in the film. They're all wearing masks that are a reference to something Dylan has mentioned in the past.
Blanchett's scenes were so artsy. A lot of work was put into everything! And the acting is really good on her part. She did a great Bob Dylan. I haven't mentioned David Cross playing Allen Ginsburg. Which i was really excited about before seeing. The scene when they're talking to Jesus... my favorite of hers.
The Christian Bale stuff. Still isn't any good. But i guess i didn't realize that it's not him singing. It's John Doe and someone else who sing his performances... and their just pre-recorded covers that Haynes used in the film as performances...which is odd and i like the idea... but it's really weird. You're hearing one thing and you're seeing something else.
So... i'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression... i really do like this movie. I'm going to watch it over and over again. The commentary is extremely informative and it's a movie you can see over and over again.
I feel really awful that i said such hurtful things about Todd Haynes' Bob Dylan movie. It really is a masterpiece. He has done more research than i've ever heard of. He took on this film as a massive challenge. This film is 2 hours worth of Dylan references. It's caked in them. Every section of the movie is needed. Only i don't agree with some in thinking the acting of a few are not so good. However, the Ledger/Gainsbourg part... i don't know if i've ever seen something so amazing. And to a Bob Dylan soundtrack.
I lOVE the Richard Gere part. Every person in the town means something. A lot of them are from earlier in the film. They're all wearing masks that are a reference to something Dylan has mentioned in the past.
Blanchett's scenes were so artsy. A lot of work was put into everything! And the acting is really good on her part. She did a great Bob Dylan. I haven't mentioned David Cross playing Allen Ginsburg. Which i was really excited about before seeing. The scene when they're talking to Jesus... my favorite of hers.
The Christian Bale stuff. Still isn't any good. But i guess i didn't realize that it's not him singing. It's John Doe and someone else who sing his performances... and their just pre-recorded covers that Haynes used in the film as performances...which is odd and i like the idea... but it's really weird. You're hearing one thing and you're seeing something else.
So... i'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression... i really do like this movie. I'm going to watch it over and over again. The commentary is extremely informative and it's a movie you can see over and over again.
Friday, May 2, 2008
TEETH (3.5 STARS)
Dawn has mutant teeth in her downstairs. It eats boys' no-no's. 'nuf said.
The first half is setup...a little tedious, but you know the good stuff is on it's way. Once Dawn's "vagina dentata" starts chopin', things really start to get fun. The whole second half is a lot of fun. The first half is my high school life all over again.
This comes out May 6th on DVD. It's a must see. Fun for the family.
The first half is setup...a little tedious, but you know the good stuff is on it's way. Once Dawn's "vagina dentata" starts chopin', things really start to get fun. The whole second half is a lot of fun. The first half is my high school life all over again.
This comes out May 6th on DVD. It's a must see. Fun for the family.
HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE (2 STARS)
What a gem!
I laughed a bunch of times. Every time that one guy takes his shirt off and that other guy tackles him... it's funny. And then that guy tackled the hottie... it was funny. Then that one guy's friend knows all the mythology of hotties and notties... that's funny. ha ha ha.
Paris is really funny awkward throughout the movie, trying to stay continuously sexy... then theres this one scene where see really shines.. the true Paris comes out. This guy is hitting on her. Her and the Nottie put him in his place... then as if she didn't know the camera was rolling.. she yells, "PAY OUR TAB BITCH"
I got a really good idea for a remake. The Hilton sisters and the Simpson sisters starring in Big Business! The movie from 1988 where two sets of twins are separated at birth.
Oh, wait... they need to be identical.
I laughed a bunch of times. Every time that one guy takes his shirt off and that other guy tackles him... it's funny. And then that guy tackled the hottie... it was funny. Then that one guy's friend knows all the mythology of hotties and notties... that's funny. ha ha ha.
Paris is really funny awkward throughout the movie, trying to stay continuously sexy... then theres this one scene where see really shines.. the true Paris comes out. This guy is hitting on her. Her and the Nottie put him in his place... then as if she didn't know the camera was rolling.. she yells, "PAY OUR TAB BITCH"
I got a really good idea for a remake. The Hilton sisters and the Simpson sisters starring in Big Business! The movie from 1988 where two sets of twins are separated at birth.
Oh, wait... they need to be identical.
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